A farewell to Gloria Steinem. She helped make me a better man
My father may have been, overall, a product of his times, but he was also a free thinker. In those days, the 1930’s and 40’s, that was a bit radical. A free thinker was regarded in those days as an apolitical agnostic, so he kept it all to himself.
Except for the woman who married him and the way he raised his children.
He must have told me several times, since I have the clear recollection of him saying to me, “Boy, you could have been born anyone, anywhere. Never forget that. Thank your lucky stars you’re here.”
So my progressive outlook on life had begun quite early. My older sister, probably enabled by the free thinkers that were our parents, seriously lamented the fact of her birth as a female since, growing up in the 1950’s, she faced the limitations of powerful societal sexism. Smarter than most others, she still faced roadblocks everywhere. Besides stealing her birthday six years later, I also gained the fate of being born male. She never forgave me for either.
All of us were shocked when our dad told her, just prior to her leaving for college, that her primary duty in going to college was to find a good husband. His free thinking faltered now and again to the exigencies of socialization. Even our mother was appalled.
So it was not my father, but my sister who began me on the road towards feminism. And it was Gloria Steinem who put me firmly there.
Ten years prior to the time I was taking a Women’s Sex Roles course at the University of Iowa (my major was General Studies), Gloria Steinem was ghosting as a Playboy Bunny, and had written an expose that put her on the map. In 1973, she had just begun Ms. magazine with several others and was loudly celebrating the newly established Roe vs. Wade decision.
I was a post -Vietnam Vet and already had a failed marriage under my belt, due in large part to my own baked-in chauvinism, so the best part of me recognized that I needed to change, to grow. That Sex Roles course began to open my eyes. An essay was shared with three control groups… the same essay was given with a man’s name attached, a woman’s name attached, and no name at all. Even the women rated the woman’s essay lowest!
So I began listening in earnest to Gloria Steinem who eventually helped me become a better feminist than most women I have known.
There remains much work to do. The gender pay gap is 81 cents for women, a dollar for men. Child care remains an afterthought to our still male dominated legislatures.
Misogyny thrives in our White House. Those legislatures have made it more difficult for women to control their own futures and bodies.
Hail to Gloria Steinem. We must continue to speak her truths and continue her fight for equality.
Her history is a wealth of great quotes. She said women tend to be conservative in youth and get more radical as they get older because they lose power with age.
So if a young woman is not a feminist, I say, “just wait.”
Van Carter of Sioux Falls is a retired broadcast journalist and environmentalist who published a green website for 15 years.
Photo: public domain, wikimedia commons
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