Any scholarship or financial reward comes at a price
A full ride academic or athletic scholarship is the gold standard for college funding, an unrealistic dream for many families and an achievement to celebrate for a few. A recent conversation with one of those scholarship recipients gave me a new perspective on that dream.
At age twelve, Jaelyn Vickery was playing travel softball in front of college recruiters, flying around the country most weekends with a team that met to compete and never practiced together. By fifteen she had committed to playing in the Big Ten on a scholarship that would cover her tuition, housing, and books. She graduated from the University of Illinois with two degrees and no student loans, the outcome most families hope for.
Now, as a young adult, Jaelyn is establishing herself in a career she loves—not as an athlete or a coach, but as a financial therapist. Part of the reason for the shift is the price she paid for her “free” education. Like every financial reward, it came with a cost.
When I asked Jae what her cost had been, she did not have to think about it. She said identity. She gave up family vacations, school dances, friends' birthday parties, and the ordinary preteen and teen years when most of us begin to find out who we are with nobody keeping score. In return she got a large financial number attached to her name. Her net worth and her self-worth fused before she was old enough to drive.
By her senior year in college Jae had the accolades and the grades, and she told me she was performing at a level she could not feel. She described it as several years of doing everything right while being somewhere else the whole time. Her department offered her a medical redshirt for mental health that kept her financial aid in place without requiring her to compete. Taking it meant walking away from the final season of something she had built since she was ten. She took it.
That year she managed her own money for the first time. A job at a bank then started her on a path that led her to the field of financial therapy.
Listening to Jae’s story, I kept thinking about the Olympic gymnasts and swimmers we watch every four years, fifteen and sixteen years old on a world stage, and what it costs to be that good that early. The obvious price includes the investment of time from both the young athlete and the parents as well as the financial cost of lessons, equipment, and travel. The unseen price is the emotional toll for everyone. This has many possible forms, such as the burden for the athlete of carrying their own and others’ expectations, the resentment of siblings whose needs and dreams may slip to second place, or the struggle for parents to juggle the additional load of the athletic activity as well as the ordinary complications of family life.
My intent is not to discourage students and their families from going after scholarships or aspiring to reach elite levels in athletics or in music, drama, and other arts. For those with the skills and passion, it may be exactly the right path.
What I strongly recommend is to pay attention to the emotional and financial costs as well as the possibilities. This is true for any financial goal or reward: a scholarship, a lucrative career, a job title, or a milestone net worth number. Each one carries a price. If that price starts to outweigh the reward, as it did for Jae, it may be time to consider shifting toward a different path.
Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, is a pioneer in financial therapy and a 2026 inductee into the Financial Therapy Hall of Fame. He is the founder of The Financial Therapy Podcast and Kahler Financial Group, and co-author of “Coupleship Inc.” and “The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.
The information provided is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as investment advice. The views expressed are subject to change based on market or economic conditions. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Any reference to potential benefits is illustrative and may not apply to your individual circumstances. You should consult with your financial adviser before making any investment decisions. KFG, LLC is an SEC-registered Investment Adviser.
Photo: public domain, wikimedia commons
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