OK, who dropped a dime on Kristi Noem's husband Bryon to reveal his alleged cross-dressing, sex-chatting secrets?

So who busted — if that is the proper term — Bryon Noem?

Who tipped The Daily Mail, a popular conservative tabloid in Great Britain? It broke the story last week, and it quickly went viral. Bryon Noem, Kristi Noem’s husband, had a secret habit of dressing as a woman and engaging in sexy chats with online sex workers. Noem spent up to $25,000 on these private sessions, The Mail reported.

It published a photo of him wearing a tight tank top with enormous fake breasts underneath. Another showed him squeezing into a pair of hot pants. Hey, give him credit for a middle-aged insurance salesman — they fit.

The initial response was shock, blended with laughter, much of it directed at the continued downfall and embarrassment of the Noem clan.

But that quickly shifted, as a New York Times reporter who was already working on a story on the Noem family was in the Castlewood and Watertown area. He interviewed people who know Bryon and while some didn’t believe the images were real — a fair assessment in this world of AI — others were somewhat sympathetic.

If that was his private form of sexual expression, that is his business, many people said. Many comedians and columnists couldn’t resist the obvious jokes or the opportunity to link it to his wife — you knew “Saturday Night Live” would jump in with both feet.

Bryon Noem was in the spotlight like never before. For the past two decades, he has primarily been standing behind his wife, rarely speaking in public. He has taken on the roles of the husband of former South Dakota legislator, congresswoman and governor while running an insurance business with offices in Castlewood and Watertown.

Kristi Noem, who was recently fired as secretary of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, is now a special envoy for the Shield of the Americas, whatever the heck that is. Instead of attending cabinet meetings where once-vital, proud and respected people, bow and scrape in pathetic gestures to please their ruling felon, Noem reports to Deputy Secretary ⁠of State Christopher Landau.

That might end up being a better option, the way Trump’s approval rate is plummeting.

This latest story has more carry than you might expect because Kristi Noem has been outspoken about her opposition to transgender girls competing in school sports and on gender-affirming care for minors. She also signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which critics say is being used to discriminate against transgender people.

As governor and a national political figure, Kristi Noem has shifted far to the right on social issues. That’s a big reason a lot of her political enemies, in Washington, D.C., in the nation and especially here in South Dakota, jumped on this story.

Another factor, of course, was her widely rumored affair with a political adviser with a very shady background. Corey Lewandowski and Noem — whom he tried to label as “America’s Governor” in a bid for national office in 2024 — have been together in tours across the nation.

The reports of their supposed personal relationship were widespread. I looked into it for various publications but while there were clouds of smoke, no fire was easily detected. A divorce rumor swept through political back channels a few years ago but no such filing could be found in any South Dakota county.

New questions were raised when Noem testified before the House Judiciary Committee, and she was directly asked if her relationship with Lewandowski was intimate.

Noem fussed, insulted and attacked the questions and the representatives — but she never refuted it. Under oath, she did not say no.

“I am shocked we’re peddling tabloid garbage in this committee,” Noem said. It was a classic non-denial denial.

Lewandowski was not there, but Bryon Noem sat quietly and withstood two days of questioning about his wife. He did duck out just before the supposed affair was raised.

This latest bit of bad publicity can’t help Kristi. Some observers thought she might dart back to South Dakota and seek a return to the House of Representatives or the Senate, but that always seemed unlikely. It was just too late to mount a campaign, and doing so after this mess wouldn’t be easy.

Now, her entire political future — and her personal life — are up in the air like the government plane she still shares with Lewandowski during her tours.

After the photos of her husband were released, a spokesman for Kristi Noem said she was “devastated” by the report and that “the family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.”.

Bryon Noem has said he will respond later. That should prove interesting. Maybe he will reveal even more family secrets.

So, who dropped the dime on him? Why now? Who wanted this story out there?

I think the sex workers who figured out who he was, and who his wife was, did it. The Daily Mail, like other British tabs, pay for news tips, photos and other information. That’s how so many insider stories on the royal family have appeared over the decades.

It makes sense that with Kristi Noem in the headlines, this was an ideal time to break it and cash in. So that’s my guess.

A lot of people are suggesting Kristi did it herself. Their theory is she knew of her husband’s kink and is using this to explain her relationship with Lewandowski. That doesn’t really work, in my view, since both of them are married with kids. An affair with a “special government employee” who has been at her side — and perhaps other locations — as a political adviser or more for several years just seems seedy.

Plus, I would think after knowing Bryon for four decades — they dated at Hamlin High School before marrying young in 1992 — Kristi must have strong feelings for him. He pops up at public events from time to time and they are often together seen in Castlewood, according to reports.

I can’t imagine she is so cold to toss him under the bus just to try to ease her way forward. But she is known for her ambition, and has a willingness to get rid of things that bother her, like an unruly puppy and an ornery goat, along with numerous staffers who were either fired or fled from her. So, it might be her.

Lewandowski could be the source. I seriously doubt if he would have any qualms about it. He and Kristi are both facing multiple investigations for some of the DHS contracts they awarded, so it’s another rough ride for a man who has courted controversy for years. He might welcome the company and hope to deflect some attention.

How about President Trump? He might want to be rid of Kristi Noem, who was ensnared in numerous negative stories of her work and conduct, once and for all. Trump told reporters he was surprised by the story.

“I don’t know anything about it,” he said. “That’s too bad, but I just know nothing about it.”

And we know he never wanders from the truth. Maybe a few dozen times a day, tops.

Perhaps it was someone at the DHS. Noem was not very popular there, according to numerous reports. Her husband’s private side was supposedly known by some people, so did someone decide to cause the Noem family further pain? That has long been a Washington tradition.

Was it someone from home? Did he let his secret spill out in a small town? It’s hard to keep something private in a community of less of 1,000 people, although Bryon likely tried his best.

In the end, it doesn’t matter who spilled the beans. Bryon Noem had his deepest secret — unless there’s more! — revealed in a very tawdry manner. Kristi Noem was featured in another negative story.

Her admirers were stunned and dismayed. This is not the rancher gal and her loyal hubby they were sold since 2010. All the videos of her riding horses and being around her family do not mesh with the secret sides of her and her husband that have been revealed.

All families have their private moments and woes, but most are only shared with a small group of people. The Noems rose to national prominence thanks to Kristi’s drive and determination but she has found the going much rougher on the big stage. It’s leaving more than a few scars.

Fourth-generation South Dakotan Tom Lawrence has written for several newspapers and websites in South Dakota and other states for four decades. He has contributed to The New York Times, NPR, The London Telegraph, The Daily Beast and other media outlets. Do not republish without permission.

Photo: Bryon Noem, seated behind wife Kristi at Senate hearing, public domain, wikimedia commons

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